1Writing for the first time on a chemo day. Usually I’m in my bed by now but I’ve been sleeping for a few hours and then lying awake at night for the past three nights. So, trying to stay awake till about 9 maybe 9.30pm, I’m so rock ‘n’ roll!!!
It’s been all Christmas spirit in my house, organised for weeks and have been doing some Christmas crafts, with and without the kids. This is all because I now have limited pain in my hands and arms. An “old school” nurse at the ward suggested flushing all the drugs from my arms and it has worked. No more rocking in tears and restricted movement. I’m very weak in my arms and legs, I can tell when opening bottles or climbing stairs but I can work on that when it’s over. Also, they are doing an extra flush for I think three more patients who have been suffering with pain now, so I’m so happy it has helped others. It does mean another hour on top of a three, four-hour chemo day but it is worth it. I had my first dermatology follow up, sometimes I forget that I had two cancers! So much time has passed that further surgery on my lymph nodes is likely not to have any benefit at all. If the cancer was to spread it will have done so by now! The funny, not so funny thing is, that chemo is so specific to each cancer, ABVD chemo will not kill skin cancer. Ironic that 6 months of chemo and another cancer could be happy on its way! It’s not all glum as remember I have had a PET scan and nothing is showing up. I’m glad I know my ending no waiting for further tests and results, slowly going insane! I will have a further CT scan week Feb 5th, but again this is routine. Seeing the end now, two more treatments to go! The appointment was uneventful, was told to get undressed and then dress again. This woman must see a lot of naked people every day! Had a proper moan at the dermatologist too. DRY SKIN…. how do ladies, or men deal with this! My body is soaking up moisturizer. When I put makeup on, my nose, it’s like polka dots, how do you put foundation on dry skin without it looking, and feeling like a buildings foundation. Hoping I go back to my combination skin, and I will never moan again. Anyway, the dermatologist gave me a prescription for a wash, and a moisturizer, Ego, Qu I think is the brand, but seriously I could have been getting this on prescription!!! I have been gifted so much body lotion and bought a lot myself, I didn’t know I could be prescribed it! Downside, it is the opposite of feeling special as you can go. It smells of a new plastic toy, texture is a but slimy and no lather in the wash but it’s because there is no harmful ingredients, it basic because it is meant to be, I prefer my Aveeno, I think I will continue to use this product after cancer. I can usually find it on offer but regardless it’s money and cancer is expensive, chemo care is expensive and I hope it helps people knowing, yes, a prescription is an option and I wish I knew sooner and not weeks before I finish my treatment. I still don’t know if I should moisturise my head btw! I’m bald again, my hair growth was very limp and dull and resembled a greying black dog’s hair. So, bored, sitting on the toilet for the 8th time that day (happens a lot chemo week) I got my husband’s clippers and just shaved it. I had worn my short hair out a few times, so I feel comfortable enough to think I can wear a short pixie cut when I start growing it bac. I’ve not worn a bald head out yet! Another cut at the end of Feb and then it should be drug free growth. I’ve almost had a product detox, hair products, skin products, I have no idea where my ghd’s are but it’s been refreshing. Whether I will become obsessed when it does grow back is another thing! My mums anniversary was the 17th Dec, and I had a lovely day, my brother was visiting and my sister and I all went out for shopping and coffee and chatting, it was a really nice way to spend the day, but I thought a lot about her today during chemo. Like, I wish I was there for her more but she sheltered me, she didn’t speak about it. I’ve been battling my own guilt, but I was young and didn’t understand, or didn’t want to understand as we were all scared. I remember my whole family being scared but never talking about it, well to me because they thought they were protecting me. I have had so much support and love given to me since this all started, I couldn’t imagine doing this on my own, I didn’t think I would have managed or been so positive. My dad also passed away from cancer, it will be his anniversary on the 30th Dec. The gentle giant he was called by those who knew him. Maybe a pint in the pub just to mark the day, but they are both always with me. So the blog will be changing slightly in the next month, turning into a life after cancer, good hair days and bad hair days kind of blog. More about my life full of follow up appointments and daily hilarity. I’m not saying goodbye yet but we are so close to this chapter of my life ending. Just to leave you with a smile, I got a Christmas card wishing me health and happiness for 2018…..I’m telling you now, it better be an improvement at least!
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