Everyone loves a happy ending, ok it’s not the end, I’m not even half way through but I’ve got some good news I’ll share at the end! So sorry I’ve been away for the past few weeks but It’s been really hard. I’ve not made my work and it just felt I was going through the motions getting through each day, and the weeks just merged into one another.
My chemo treatments on the 19th September and 3rd of October took their toll. I was sicker than usual, cramping with diarrhea and the pain in my arms were really bad, so much that I had to take a bath as submerging them in water was the only way to get the pain out, esp of my right arm. I was taking paracetamol but it wasn’t really having much of an effect. What was even more frustrating is the hospital didn’t think this was due to the chemo. Except, I got it every time after chemo in the arm they gave me the chemo in! They agree now it is but they expected it to be local to my hand not up to my shoulders. I know people live with pain like this day to day and I don’t know how they do it. It’s constant and makes you almost shy away from doing anything. My house was like a bombsite and I had two weeks’ worth of ironing piling up and it was just really getting me down. For the first time in a while I was a bit teary and a bit defeated. It was taking me almost a week and a half to recover and for the pain to go away, so I was only having a day or two relief before the process stated again. The week of my chemo treatment on the 3rd of Oct my youngest Oscar got chicken pox and bless him he was a super star and they weren’t so bad. I called the hospital and initially they were fine but later called me back in I needed to travel to Kirkcaldy for bloods despite me being certain I had them before. I couldn’t go local as it was the bank holiday so there would be no bloods transported between hospitals, luckily my sister in law was off and brought myself and Oscar through (I still don’t drive). They clearly didn’t want me there and the people on the ward have low immune systems so I got shuffled into the room, two attempts, but bloods taken. I was slightly stressed, I was due to have a PET scan that week, if this came back negative I wouldn’t be able to go then I wouldn’t be able to get my chemo. I also said to them about the pain in my arm but as it was a bank holiday there was no doctors, only on call for an emergency. So off I went as the disinfected the room I was in. Never got my results back, no phone call, but you get used to that. Off I went for my PET scan, another injection, took a minute of poking about to get in but managed it. Now, a PET scan is with radiation so I was in a room the size of a cupboard by myself for an hour, scanned and sent on my way, again feeling miserable, but at least it was done. Chemo bloods taken on the Monday, I love this nurse, Wham, Bam, done, no messing about! And then hospital the next day for chemo. I dragged myself in, feeling so crap about life. Took five attempts to get my needle in, I mean I was about to tell this nurse to take a short walk, but I think she realised and got another nurse in to get a vein. I was told to avoid my right arm again due to the pain two weeks prior but there was so much messing about with my left she had to use my right. At one stage they were looking at my wrists, which really freaks me out. I don’t even like wearing bracelets on my wrist. Tears streaming down my face I was trying to crack jokes and make it light hearted but I felt, to be honest just hollow, like I was an inanimate object that keeps getting either bloods taken out of me or drugs pumped into me, like a lab rat. I didn’t feel defeated but took a knock the last few weeks. Eventually I tried Ross's sports massage ball on my arm and it seemed to help the muscle pain, and then I did a yoga video on YouTube and that really was a turning point for me. First time in weeks I slept well, and could use my arm again. When I was getting my chemo, I mentioned my pain again to see if I can get any medication for it. I was told to use Nurofen gel instead as oral paracetamol wouldn’t really work. To be honest I felt like slapping him. I was told not to use Nurofen during chemo, I was also told by him to manage my pain with oral paracetamol at home, this was likely when they didn’t believe the pain was chemo related, but to have gone through weeks of pain, doing what the doctor told me to then say, “ya, it doesn’t really help” no shit Sherlock, I’m still angry about it. However, the gel really has worked along with the yoga. Pain I would describe as mild this week. My house is someway normal and the pile of ironing has returned, but that happens every week! It helps my mind knowing I’m on top of it though. And my good news….I knew it was a possibility but didn’t mention it to anyone just in case. They give Hodgkin Lymphoma patients a PET scan between chemo 4 and 5 to see how the treatment is working. Ideally, they want to stop giving you bleomycin, one of the drugs as it causes lung damage. And I got my results just before my last treatment. My cancer is in remission. It was a score of one, the lowest I could have got. My doctor doesn’t want to say it’s gone…but I do 😊 It’s gone(ish). Let’s just say is this was my first scan they would have said I don’t have cancer which is good enough for me! I continue my full chemo treatment, which is normal and I knew from looking at other stories that would be the case. I’m still in the running for a complete cure with no cancer returning. So, I’m still not even half way through my chemo journey but at least I know what ever I go through it’s working. Sorry if this seems rushed, my boys are both napping so I have no time to edit but really wanted to give everyone an update as to how things are going. I’m having a really good week this week. Been out with work colleagues, been to work as well and survived the October school holidays.
3 Comments
|
Go Fund Me PageMy amazing friends and family have set up a Go Fund me page to help towards financial and funeral expenses https://gofund.me/c9319754 Thank you so much for all your love and support. Archives
March 2021
Categories |